Gentle parenting has an impact on students in the classroom. What happens at home doesn’t stay at home. Actions and behavior by parents and students at home follow students to school. The authoritarian teaching style was acceptable at home and at school in the past. Schools shared the same values as a student’s home life. Thus, parents accepted the same rules and punishments as in schools. It is different today.
Social-emotional growth of students is important in schools today. Schools encourage students to have a voice and to be a part of the decision-making process. When students follow this same process at home, it is called ‘gentle parenting.’ Gentle parenting, also called collaborative parenting, does not control children through punishment. Gentle parenting connects with children through communication and decision-making. This same process happens in school as teachers try to get to the root of a problem with a student’s actions and behaviors. A difference may lie in time constraints. Teachers do not have negotiation time.
Gentle Parenting vs Permissive Parenting
Although there is confusion between gentle parenting and permissive parenting. It is not the same. Gentle parenting does not mean children do what they want. There may be consequences for a child’s actions. Gentle parenting is under the umbrella of ‘authoritative’ in that it is firm but kind. However, it is different from ‘authoritative’ in that it is non-punitive and believes in emotional safety. Gentle parenting focuses on meeting the needs of the parent and child and emphasizes respect and empathy for both.
Gentle Parenting Takes Time in the Classroom
Students expect Teachers to continue with a form of ‘gentle parenting’ at school. They feel the need to freely negotiate with teachers in the classroom. More students do not understand that schools do not work that way. Students who are raised in this ‘gentle’ manner have a false sense of reality.
Gentle parenting stems from the history of a generation that may have experienced the trauma of abuse. They are looking for a better approach to raising children. However, some teachers are frustrated with the students who experience the vocalization of ideas and certain decisions. Answering questions and explaining decisions takes time from classroom tasks.
Teachers create an environment in the classroom that gives students a chance to shape rules and decisions. Students share the climate of the classroom with teachers. They take part in discussions about behavioral consequences. Students even peer-teach. The difference is that teachers have time constraints and must stick to a curriculum of study.
Gentleness Doesn’t Always Work
Consequences set in the classroom that students and peers agree upon do not always work. Strategies do not always address an underlying problem, causing a student’s behavior to be continuous. No two students are raised the same or with the same rules. Also, there is no set rule or definition of ‘gentle parenting’, allowing for various interpretations.
No matter the parenting style, classrooms need to be under the control of the teacher for learning to take place. They need boundaries and guidance. Parents and students should always follow the directions of the teacher. They should practice kindness and accept routines and feedback as a part of learning.
