A bully is easily identified. And today, children are taught what to do when they encounter a bully. In the past, bullies were thought of as social outcasts with low self-esteem. They picked on others to make themselves look important. Today, research states otherwise.
Situations for a Handmade Bully
- Children model what they see. Thus, as parent(s) disrespect, bully or abuse a child or spouse at home, the child is likely to imitate the same behavior outside the home. Consequently, they learn the behavior is acceptable.
- A child that feels powerless at home looks for power elsewhere.
- The child seeks attention. A child needs constant love and respect from adults at home. In feeling voiceless, they seek attention outside the home.
- Children are entitled. In as, they have too much freedom, limitations, or rules. These children have their rights. Therefore, they bully others.
- They lack empathy. As a result, they like to dominate, are possessive and love power.
- A child is quick to anger. Ofter misinterprets the actions of others.
Bullies are not born, we raise them. Because, bullying is a learned behavior. It is often used as a stress response and an attempt to gain control.
Hence, to prevent raising a bully, build positive relationships with your children.
Bully or not – Kids Are Still Kids.
There is a reason why children act the way they do. When their actions are not of the norm, they need help and guidance from adults. Children that bully tend to lack social behaviors and coping skills that lead to future problems. To avoid raising bullies, create a positive relationship with children that provides love and support.
• Praise them.
• Listen to them.
• Problem solve with them.
• Help them to build positive relationships with friends.
• Teach and model empathy every day.
• Spend time with them.
• Be present and talk, talk, talk to them.
Remember, bullies are not born, they are handmade. Parents and teachers have the opportunity to teach empathy and kindness. It is important to create positive relationships with children.
Parents, as well as teachers look for bullies. Consequently, parents look for other children that may oppress their child and don’t recognize that theirs is the oppressor. In addition, most adults believe they are good role models and can’t see how they are modeling inappropriate behaviors.
